Back as A Wanderer

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Finally here I am, after back and forth around Lombok-Jakarta four times in less than one year. So, this is me as another wanderer or maybe a new comer that come back to this city and decide to live in here anymore. Although I keep called Jakarta as my second hometown because I spent almost half of my age here, but trust me I've been through a long consideration to take this journey because it's not easy to convince myself. So, it definitely was a huge decision and difficult to decide and embark on a new chapter in my life.

I love to be lived at Lombok (of course I do) and no words can describe how happy yet grateful I am to be around my family after separate with them when I was a college student that took study in out of town. But, it's not about the place where you live and it's not about some people around you. It's about finding yourself, finding your journey, or maybe finding your own life.

 "Finding myself" is an interesting concept that we all get sold on as we go through life yet with every stage of "finding" and I feel like it's more of returning. Returning to self and I think why not start in a new place.

Throwback to the moment when I took some family trip at Jakarta in the mid of 2018 and (suddenly) feels like I got some enlightened when I've met some people that inspired me to be what "I'm looking for" and I just found it's so easy to get all the "answers" from all my questions from over years in this city. 

 One of my question is I keep ask myself about what the greatest lesson I've learned so far and how strong the connection beside me and Allah. Yup, the most reason why I take this journey is to "finding myself" as the right Muslim. I need to learn about my "deen" from the basic and completely, also make sure myself to get that in the right place.

Beside, as a ordinary people I think it's about "entitlement". I am already saturated with comparing my own story with people around. I need to recognize that everyone has different strengths and weakness, and no matter how much I think I "deserve" more than someone else, there are always caveats. Time and patience is everything in a long term life. I'm still very nascent in my own and I always try to be humbled every day by the mistakes I made and the lessons I learnt from like-minded individuals around me.

But, sometimes we got so caught up with life and it details. So, taking a step back and realizing again, all the love and patience that surrounds and inspires me to be my best self. Every day I am grateful, but admittedly need to work on expressing the gratitude. And usually when we became a wanderer we can understand what life is about.

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